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How does the Marriage Partner Selection in Indian Traditional Families?

How does the Marriage Partner Selection in Indian Traditional Families?


1 Answer

Selection of Marriage Partner in Indian:

By Arrangement.

Most common in traditional Indian families, where the parents and relatives of boy and the girl meet and fix up their marriage. In arranged marriage the girl and boy are not allowed to meet each other before the wedding. It is on the wedding day that the girl and boy see each other. They start their life together as total strangers on the wedding night. Though in urban areas, the boy and the girl are allowed to meet each other before the wedding but in the presence of elders. In the meeting they are supposed to project their best possible look and behaviour:The elders from both sides of family discuss, the various details required and consult the astrologer for matching the horoscope of both boy and girl. If everything goes well, marriage is fixed. Marriage fixed when:

  • Parents, relatives and friends arrange the marriage.
  • Professional matchmakers bring in proposal for the marriage.
  • Matrimonial advertisements are given in newspaper and the match is made.
    Fall in the category of arranged marriage.

By Choice.

Few families allow the boy and girl to meet prior to fixing marriage and get to know each other and decide whether they should marry or not. During their meetings, there are chances that both are attracted to each other and fall in love and decide to get married with or without the consent of their respective families.

What do parents look for in a good match?

  • Primarily external appearance of both boy and girl are given importance height, complexion, beauty etc. Physical disabilities of any kind, like, squint in eyes, unclear speech, even spectacles etc. becomes reason for rejection.
  • Economic status of the families of both sides is another major consideration, other issues are details of income, property, businesses etc.
  • Education of both boy and girl; nature of job, salary of boy and in case of working girl are given importance to.
  • Health of both boy and girl.
  • Home making skills of girl.
  • Matching of horoscopes is very important in case of arranged marriages.
  • Last but not the least, religion, caste and social status is also considered before fixing marriage of the children.

What do young people look for in a good match?

Majority of young Men and women of marriageable age base their choices on physical attributes. Boys look for tall, slim, fair complexioned girls with long hair beautiful eyes, full breasts and a lovely smile; whereas girls find boys with good height and body, broad shoulders, physical strength, good sense of humor and good dressing sense attractive. In short boys and girls, irrespective of the fact that they belong to rural or urban societies are attracted towards the looks and external behaviour of the opposite sex. But these factors do not provide guarantee of a happy married life ahead.

What should one look for in a good marriage partner?

Mental maturity and good physical health are important and firm basis for a successful marriage. Similarity in the thoughts of both partners is another important factor. The similarities can be divided into four groups:

  • Basic ideologies in life in the field of values, religion, goals and conviction.
  • Ideas about marriage related to fidelity, sex, children and in-laws.
  • Personal issues like age, education, social and economic status.
  • General issues relating to cultural, social and political background.

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September 23, 2019